Thursday, May 26, 2011

Again?

Just when I was starting to get used to my kitchen (when I say getting used to, I mean not burning every single thing I cook!  Not used to electric stove top and the oven is soooo hot) I found out I will have to get used to another new kitchen.  You heard me right, we are moving again!  The rental that we are in (the house next door to "our" house) sold!  I really cannot believe that it sold.  It has been on the market for so long and had at least 2 or 3 contracts that have fallen through.  Murray and I never expected it to sell this soon, especially before we are anywhere close to getting things started at our house.  We knew it was a risk, but thought it was worth it to be so close to our house.  We just did not see it working out like this.  I love our street, it makes me sad to leave, even for a short (hopefully) time.  And it makes me sad for the kids to leave their friends.  However, judging by this picture, I think as long as we bring the TV the kids will be fine.
Since school has been out the kids really have not watched that much TV, which is so nice!  This was just the 20 minute reprieve mommy needed to finish cooking dinner.  There was silence from 2 for 25 minutes.  Even the TV cannot subside Sara Wells' strong desire to be held, she lasted about 5 minutes today.  But every 5 minutes counts!

When we were in seminary our pastor's wife led a discipleship group for the seminary wives at our church.  Her goal was to be very honest with us so that we would be prepared, as much as possible, for what life in the ministry would be like - both the good and the bad.  I feel like because of that time, I have pretty realistic expectations of what life in the ministry can be like.  It is such a joy and privilege for our family to serve the Lord in full time ministry.  The Lord blesses us in so many ways and I would never change what we are doing.  But there is also heartache and heartbreak, and I know the longer we are in ministry the more of that we will experience.  As I have thought ahead about what it will be like when those really hard times come (you don't have to be in the ministry for that to happen - they will come) I have always thought of our home as our safe place.  Things all around us may be hard, but at least our family will have the safe haven of our home.  And when I say our home, I don't mean "home is where the heart is."  I mean home, our house with all of our things.  I just walk in the door at my house and feel a sigh of relief, comfort.  I just never imagined we might not have it anymore.  When we moved next door, it really did not seem like that big of a deal, a little hassle, but we were close and things did not seem that different because we are still on the same street with all of our neighbors.  But the thought of this move is different.  It is like all of my securities are being stripped away.  Talking with Murray's mom after I first found out the house sold, she shared with me what she had just been studying in her quiet time that morning.  Every situation that we are in is a gift from the Lord because it is an opportunity to trust Him.  In light of all that has been going on recently with the tornados both here and in Missouri, the word gift just did not seem appropriate to me.  But gift is the perfect word.  What an honor and privilege that the Lord actively works in my life to make me more like him.  Right now I don't understand and I am frustrated that I have to move.  But really, what is important here?  My ultimate goal for my life and the life of my family is to glorify God.  And if moving 2 times in 2 months or 12 times in 12 months is going to bring us closer to the Lord, than praise God!  I have to be honest with you though, tears are streaming down my face as I write this because it is hard to let go.  It is scary to say, I really am ok with whatever you have in store for us.  Even though there are tears, I know that what the Lord has in store for us is more perfect than I could ever imagine.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for being so honest. There have been SO many times this year where God has been moving me to trust in Him and all I've wanted is to hold on to what is comfortable. I totally understand. Thanks for sharing your journey and how He's working in your heart. Please let us know if we can help with the move. Love you guys.

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  2. I am there with you Kim....I find that I pray for God to use me and I forget....and then He gives me a new opportunity or a new person to meet....if He wants to use you and your sweet family's influence and witness on a new street He will....and will bless you in the doing. It is just so hard for us to see it that way in our flesh. It is SO DIFFICULT to keep an eternal perspective but we are His and He will use us.
    My love and prayers go out to you....Jane

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